In Memoriam

Today would have been my Grandmom Kass's 89th birthday. She passed in her sleep one week after Kate and Elliot's wedding in February.

I wrote in my journal:

I thought I had done my grieving in advance, bit by bit over the past four years. Turns out that's not how grief works, at least not for me.

It took me awhile to post about her death (for reasons I won't get into), but here's what I eventually put up on Facebook: 

Today we're back in New Jersey, gathering with relatives for a Mass said in her name (in lieu of a funeral, which she definitely did not want) and takeout from our favorite Italian restaurant afterward. I miss her, he says when we call, and we can hear the tears in his voice.

You had a good long life together, we tell him. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to lose the person you chose to share your life with, especially when you've been inseparable for seventy years. Even if she was leaving you little by little.

But I do know one thing: it is not possible to say "I love you" too many times.